Akatsuki Bunnies : 2
by Princess Kaminari of the Sand
Summary: Continuation of awesomeinhumanform's Akatsuki Bunnies. :3 The Akatsuki are teleported into the Milky Way Galaxy, more specifically, on earth, as adorable, fuzzy creatures that we all know as bunnies. That's epic.
1. Chapter 1 (or 26)

**CREDITS: This story was made by**** awesomeinhumanform****. She is the creator of****_ Akatsuki Bunnies._**** I have simply adopted it. This story is a CONTINUATION!**

**WARNING: I like to say this before every new story I start. I consider myself to be a horrible, amateur writer. Though that's up for your own opinion, it is simply how I view myself. ;) Although I know, I am a pretty sexy beast. ;)**

**FEDERAL WARNING: ... Right.. Just.. Don't steal this story. I know people. Like.. Gaara. He loves me. I SWEAR GAARA LOVES ME, OKAY? AUGH! **

**Just kidding.. He doesn't love me..**

**HE WILL SOON!**

**Anyways, I think that's enough of the federal warning. This chapter is the last awesomeinhumanform's written, edited and put into the story by me. To see the FIRST part of ****_Akatsuki Bunnies_****, visit ****awesomeinhumanform****'s profile. Also check out her other stories, since they're awesome. Dooo iiittt..**

**Well, let's begin!**

* * *

Itachi sighed, a deep, annoyed sound leaving his lips. He turned his head slowly to the only other inhabitant of the room.

"Kisame, it seems that this is no genjutsu. I sense no irregularities." Kisame turned from where he sat, perched on the spinning chair. _Autumn's_ spinning chair.

"So? It's probably a trick of some sort. And if it is, I'm gonna kill those brats," Kisame stood up, towering over his rather short partner.

"In no time they'll tell me where they put Samehada. And then they'll regret the day they were born," Kisame smiled at that, and Itachi sighed again.

"You do realize that you can't touch them until Leader knows what's going on. He believes they may somehow prove useful." Kisame rolled his eyes at this, plummeting back down in the spinning chair.

"Those brats? As if! We are the Akatsuki, we are self-sufficient." Kisame gave a happy shrug as Itachi closed his eyes.

"You never know. Everyone has a purpose, a job, a point to their existence. A mission of some sort. They haven't proved themselves useless or useful yet," Itachi opened his eyes at that, his facial features relaxing as he slumped down on his bed. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. If we get to do whatever we want, I call the blonde one who thought I was gay. I swear.." Anger heated his face, his features making him appear similar to a hungry shark.

"Killing her won't prove your sexuality." Itachi said, his face devoid of emotion. Kisame frowned at that.

"I guess you're right, but it isn't worth it. I know that I'm heterosexual." Kisame relaxed in his own sitting position, closing his eyes as he fantasized cutting Autumn up with his Samehada. "Heh. She'll regret ever saying my name and gay in the same sentence. Heck, she'll regret ever meeting me!" Kisame chuckled to himself as Itachi sighed again.

"That is, if Leader lets you make her regret it. In the end, he'll probably just kill them himself." Kisame sighed at that, a frown contorting his face.

"Not fair...He didn't get called gay," Kisame complained as he turned towards Itachi. "Itachi? Did you fall asleep?" His only response from Itachi was deep, leveled breathing. "That...jerk! How dare he fall asleep while I'm talking!" Kisame glared at Itachi before he realized the opportunity at hand. He chuckled as he picked up the knife that Itachi had forbid from him.

"Make her regret the day she called me gay.." He hissed to himself as he snuck from the room. The moment the door closed Kisame sprinted down the hall, slipping into the kitchen. He entered carelessly, unaware of the girl squished into the corner, a frying pan in her hands.

Suddenly, she swung the frying pan down on his head. It connected with a clang, but it wasn't nearly enough to take him down. He whirled around as she rose the frying pan again, grabbing it as she swung down with it. He then slammed down on her head using said frying pan. He watched as the caramel haired girl sunk to the ground, collapsing right by the dark haired girl. Kisame frowned as he realized that the girl who had questioned his sexuality wasn't inhabiting this room. He dropped the frying pan and carelessly sauntered out of that room, ignoring the pulsing ache that had entered his head.

"D*mn you, Kakazu, you f*cking b*stard!" Kisame turned his head at the sound of Hidan's voice. He walked into the room to see Kakazu sitting on the ground, counting money while sitting on Hidan's body. Hidan's head was sitting on the desk and seeping blood everywhere. "Put me back together!" Hidan yelled as Kakazu heartily ignored him.

Once again, Kisame stepped out of that room and skulked down the hall. Sooner or later he would find that girl, and she would regret the day she was born...

* * *

**Voila!**

**Actually, ****awesomeinhumanform**** wrote this chappie(I said that already..). I simply.. Edited it. THERE WAS ONLY ONE MISTAKE I FEEL SO USELESS!**

**Well, I still have to manage Sand vs Bubbles, so..**

**Yeah. I'm busy.**

**Snap, I forgot the disclaimer!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, pretty sure that's obvious.. But if I did, I'd insert myself into the story and promptly marry Gaara before he knows what hit him.**

**MWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... HAAAHAAAA-cough cough-**

**Well, I'd like to thank ****awesomeinhumanform**** for entrusting me with this epic story!**

**..Watch me fail epically. in fact, the fail would be so big, it'd go into the Guinness Book of World Records, and I'd get, like, a million dollars. Then, out of shame, I'd mail ****awesomeinhumanform**** all the money. **

**OR I'D SPEND IT ALL TO FEED MY OTAKU LIFESTYLE MWAHAHAAAAAAA!**

**You know, now would be a great time for me to SHUT THE HECK UP!**

**This is the LAST FRIGGIN TIME I eat a quart of Birthday Cake ice cream before uploading. SORRY!**

**Well, peace out, my lovely alpacas.**

**-Princess Kaminari of the Sand**


	2. Chapter 2 (or 27)

**Woooaaaahhhh Here I am, with the second chappie! It took about, like, three hours of research, but I think I MAY be ready to create a half-satisfactory chappie! :D WOOHOO!**

**Sorry if this took forever, but I'm easily distracted. Whenever I write, I type in a sentence, save, play minecraft for LITERALLY one minute before I get bored, type in another sentence, rinse and repeat.. -.-**

**So, I read the original _Akatsuki Bunnies_ about five times before being confident enough to actually post.. my own.. chappie..**

**ALRIGHT! LET'S A-GO! *horrible mario impression***

* * *

Autumn~~ \(* v *)/

As surprising as it sounds, Rika and I decided to take Sam and Danny along with us, on our most-likely-to-fail escapade. The strongest out of all of us, unfortunately, was me. Therefore, I was given the oh-so-fun job of "stealthily" carrying around Danny. I didn't want Danny dead, but even I realized that carrying her around was pointless.

"So, _now_ what's our distraction going to be?" Rika whispered worriedly, eyes darting around for any sign of the Akatsuki.

Sam looked like she was thinking hard, desperately trying to make up for her crime. Rika and I both gave each other looks that were obvious in meaning: _Be wary of Sam_. We weren't exactly ecstatic about saving her butt too, but the guilt would've been riding on our shoulders for all of eternity otherwise.

"How about one of us pretends to be trying to escape out a window or something, and give the others an escape route?" Sam finally said quietly.

"I can't go, I have to carry the corpse." I muttered, though grateful for not being forced to take up the dangerous position. Rika and Sam looked at each other.

"H-how about we t-take more time to d-develop the plan, first?" Rika suggested shakily. Obviously, she was extremely fearful of the S-ranked criminals roaming the house.

"We don't have time!" Sam snapped. "I'll just do it, okay?"

"How do we know you won't screw up?" I asked suspiciously.

"Look, I owe you guys enough. I'll jump out the window, it's not a long fall anyways. I'm a decent runner, enough to give you guys a headstart."

"Should we have a meeting place?" Rika asked. That's my sister, always thinking everything through.

"Somewhere public." Sam said. "Maybe the police station."

"We can't get more people involved!" I whispered harshly. "What can the police do against ninja? It'll take a dozen nuclear missiles to stop these guys!"

"Fine. The alley next to Panda Express." Sam decided.

"Which one?" Rika said, exasperated.

"You know, the one where they never have any orange chicken, and always give you three fortune cookies." Sam sighed. "It's only a short walk from your house, dummy."

"I know that one." I piped up, recalling a horrible memory in which I got salmonella from undercooked chicken. "I'll show you the way, Rika."

"Okay, then it's decided." Rika finalized. "Best of luck to each of us."

Sam closed her icy blue eyes. When she opened them again, they were an equally beautiful apple green. "Right. Let's go, and don't chicken out."

I nodded fiercely, and, summoning all of the strength I never knew I had, I heaved Danny's bloodied body into my arms, bridal style. Since she was limp, she weighed even more than she would naturally.

Rika and I started to sneak to the door, when we froze. Voices were coming from the corridor. Sam rolled her eyes and silently crept towards the voices, leaving my sister and I to watch in awe. Sam was really brave when she wanted to be.

"What the-? Why are you here?" a voice roared, and I winced. Rika and I ran through the hallway, praying for Sam all the while. The door was just a few meters away. I heard Sam run around the opposite end of the house. The many, _many_ heavy footsteps announced the fact that most likely the entire Akatsuki were chasing her. In the noise, nobody would hear us escape.

Fortunately for Rika and I, our door wasn't very creaky. Rika let me slip out the door first, because of my extra baggage.

"Get back here, you weird-eyed freak!" A voice yelled from far away.

"Come and get me, moron!" Sam's voice taunted, but it was obvious she was near-panic.

"Maybe we should stay back and help Sam," I muttered lowly to Rika, just as we got outside.

"She agreed to be the distraction." Rika insisted. "We just got free, anyways! Did you forget what she did to Danny?"

I looked down at the lifeless girl in my arms.

"Maybe," I agreed. "But Sam's family. I can't deal with two deaths!"

"Fine." Rika nodded, but mostly because she knew I'd go by myself if she refused.

And so, we headed back into the house of extremely hot criminals. _Oh, joy._

* * *

**GAAAAAAAHHHHHH**

**my writing style is so different form the original! Sowwy.. *sniffs* I tried pretty hard, if that's any consolation... I didn't exactly want the girls to escape, though. I felt like making it last a while, before the outside chase.**

**Well... Review, follow, favorite, whatevs. :) Thanks for reading anyways! I WUV YOUUUU!**

**And so does Autumn, Rika, Sam, and the Akatsuki. **

**Danny hates you, though. xD**

**"Omigosh, Rika! They're making a STORY about us!" \(* v *)/**

**"I can see that, Autumn." (^.^)**

**"What's going on?" l(T n T)l**

**"Sam, Sam, SAAAAM! Look! These people on fanfiction . net are making a story about us!" \(* v *)/**

**"I think it's more about the Akatsuki, Autumn.." l(T n T)l**

**"I never thought I'd be in a story! I mean, I planned on making an autobiography, but where's the fun without fiction, right?" \(* v *)/**

**"Autumn, come on. We have surviving to do." (^.^)**

**"Aw.. Rika, can't we stay in the safe-zone a little more?" \(* v *)/**

**"NO!" l(T n T)l**

**"Sheesh.." \(* v *)/**

**So.. I made those faces to represent each character...**

**Rika= (^.^)**

**Autumn= \(* v *)/**

**Sam: l(T n T)l**

**Yeah. Well, peace out, my lovelies!**

**-Princess Kaminari**


	3. Chapter 3 (or 28)

**(/* .*)/ \(* . *)/ \(*. *\)**

**BOOGIEEEE!**

**lifegaurd-****_ \(* . *)/_**** \(X . X)/ - drowning!**

**Yeah, I think I'll just start the chapter. I just woke up and had WAY too much sugar, so.. Yeah. :3**

* * *

Sam l(T n T)l

The Akatsuki chased me around the living room. Well, that was an overstatement. Kisame was hot on my heels, Hidan kept screaming profanities, Sasori calmly watched the show like it was _The Hunger Games_, Kakuzu was attempting to murder me, Pein was all leader-like and following my movements intently, Konan was right next to Pein, Deidara was using my chase as a reason to explode random inanimate objects, Itachi looked rather annoyed (nothing new..), Tobi was humming something that suspiciously sounded a lot like _Barney and Friends_, and Zetsu.. Was having a deep conversation with himself. Meh, whatever.

I was on the verge of insane, hardcore panic. My mind was scrambled and I couldn't form a coherent thought. I was relying 100% on my _fight or flight_ instincts at the moment. I had to think of a plan.. I had to do something..

However, nothing came into my mind. I never took note of which room I was in, but I guessed I was in the bedroom.

"Get back here, you stupid little bi-"

"Oh, look! A butterfly!" Tobi made a duck imitation and waddled over to the window. _Okay.._

Now that I thought about it, imagine how insanely awesome it would be to held by _the_ Kisame Hoshigaki. Awesome enough to make me want to purposely trip! But then again.. Kakuzu or Hidan might get to me first, and that is _not_ awesome.

I continued running, wondering how on earth I wasn't already caught. They'd catch up soon enough, though. There's only so much bed hopping and chair dodging a girl could do before breaking down. I just hoped that it was enough to give Autumn and Rika a good, safe headstart. They should be far away from here by now.

"It's alright, Sam! We'll save you!" I heard a horrifyingly familiar voice yell from the doorway.

"Idiot! What about the whole stealth thing you were rambling on about?" I heard Rika snap.

My eyes widened with the realization that Rika and Sam had come to save me from the Akatsuki's wrath. Oh, friggin' _brilliant_. Because three out of shape girls were _totally_ taking down ten incredibly fit ninja. Yeah, great planning, sister Einsteins.

"_You_!" I heard Kisame hiss when he saw Autumn.

"Uh oh.." Autumn whimpered, and proceeded to hide behind Rika. I felt like Autumn, Rika, and I were the three stooges. We were embarrassments compared to the Akatsuki, and I think that everyone in the room realized that, except for Tobi, who was wearing two colorful socks on his hands and making a puppet show, completely oblivious to what was going on.

Idiot.

I slowed down for a bit, stunned, and Hidan used that chance to violently grab at me. There was no time for fangirling, only gratitude, because Kakuzu also used my momentary slowness to try and kill me. However, Hidan acted as a flesh shield, and saved me. _Thank heavens._

"Kakuzu, you #$%!" Hidan shrieked as he was mercilessly cut up. Rika looked like she was about to faint at the sight of all the blood - or at the huge red stain on the carpet that was going to take forever to get out.

"Kakuzu, do not yet kill her." Pein said.

"_Aaaah!_" I heard Autumn scream loudly. I whipped around to see Kisame glowering over her.

"Where's Samehada?" he growled.

"Why do you think _I_ hid it?" she whined.

"Why aren't you tied up, un?" Deidara asked, hoping to distract Kisame from his murderous rage.

"We're not as stupid as you think." I snorted, bringing the attention back to me. The narrowed eyebrows of the Akatsuki warned me to shut the heck up, but in my panicked state, I couldn't refrain from saying stupid stuff.

Pein cleared his throat. "I suppose since we are all here, we should discuss your fate." He glared at Rika, Autumn, and I. I gulped nervously. Us three were going to prove to be pretty darn useless.

"O-okay.." Rika stammered, and slowly crept into the room, eyes wide. Autumn followed closely behind, jumping when Kisame snarled at her.

I took a deep breath. Unless we knew how to fly, we were going to die.

* * *

**BLAAAHHHH this chappie sucks sooo much! Dx**

**Forgive meeee! **

**UGHHHHHH I'm a horrible persooonnn...**

**Anyways, review! :D Thanx for reading! ^.^ sorry, i don't really have much of an author's note.. -_-**


	4. Chapter 4 (or 29)

**Boop!**

**My mouse ran out of batteries yesterday, and I had to wait until tomorrow for my mom to go out and buy more, so I wasn't able to work on the chappie! Luckily, I am a fast worker when I have my creative hat on! Literally, it's a hat that looks almost exactly like Luffy's from One Piece. I wear it when I work on art and when I type up chappies. :)**

**Also listening to the Excalibur Song on a ten hour loop. Fifty-eight minutes endured! :D**

**I guess.. Enjoy the chapter! :D**

* * *

Rika (^ . ^)

"Well then, prove yourselves worthy of living." Pein said. I shook like a leaf, embarrassing myself. I felt like Sam was too cool to be scared, Autumn too sunshiney. I was the middle ground, which meant that I was most likely the most scared.

Autumn perked up. I looked at her hopefully. Did she think of something already?

"Okay, watch this." Autumn said seriously. She reached for a fruit bowl that I hadn't noticed before. My eyes widened in realization. She was going to attempt to _juggle_. Autumn, whose coordination was so low, I was sure that a newborn platypus would do better.

Sam knew it too, which was why she was throwing warning glares at Autumn. But once Autumn planted an idea in her cranium, nothing would stop her.

She started throwing the fruits up in the air, trying to catch them in a circular motion. Needless to say, her _"ingenious"_ failed miserably.

"What exactly were you trying to do?" Sasori asked from somewhere. Hee hee.. Sasori.. Hee hee.. _No, Rika! now is not the time to fangirl!_

"I was trying to entertain you guys!" Autumn grinned as fruit fell on her head, each landing with a loud _bonk!_

"I liked it!" Tobi cheerfully said. "Can we keep her?"

Pein glared at him. "No."

"Wait!" I said suddenly. Everyone looked at me. Including Sasori. _No! I did not notice him! He's just another human being! Focus, Rika!_

"Um.." I trailed off. I never knew what I was going to say, just stalling for time. I was about to admit that I couldn't do anything, when I saw a certain something in Deidara's hand. It was.. A phone!_ Perfect!_

"Let's get real." I said in a business-like voice. "You guys don't know anything when it comes to this world. Phones, computers, cars, planes, society, fashion, food, absolutely nothing. So who do you thing is going to help you guys out?"

The Akatsuki was silent, realization dawning on them.

"Sam, Autumn, and I could help you, show you how everything works, how to interact. Maybe even how to get back to your world."

The Akatsuki perked up at that.

"But for that to happen," I continued, "You must remain civilized and listen to what we say. Obviously, you must also keep us alive." I made sure they were still listening. All eyes were on me, including Sam and Autumn's. "You guys won't be able to leave the house unless we tell you, lest you want to ensure chaos. You may not harm us in any way, either."

Pein stared cooly at me, his purple eyes boring into mine. I forced back my fear and bravely looked him in the eye.

"Very well." He finally said at last. "I shall agree to your terms, and keep my end of this deal. I trust you will too."

"But leader!" Kisame protested. "We can't trust them!"

"I am leader, and what I say goes." Pein said simply.

"Uh, should we show you where you guys are going to sleep?" Sam awkwardly asked.

Pein nodded his head. Konan looked at him curiously, but when their eyes met, she knew what went on in his mind, and she knew he made a wise decision.

I inaudibly gulped. Everything was going smoothly for the time being. Hopefully nothing would happen that would damage the fragile trust between me and the Akatsuki.

I was about to turn to Autumn to ask to prepare a room for them, but she was_ already_ drooling over Kisame. I was about to scold her, but I knew if I had been in her position, I'd be checking out Sasori as soon as safety was declared, so I let it slide.

* * *

**There's nothing really for me to say here. Rika saved the day! Woo hoo! :D**

**Review, follow, favorite!**

**Well, Peace out!**

**-Princess Kaminari (of the Sand)**


	5. Chapter 5 (or 30)

**Hey, in case you guys wanna know, I'm not too keen on doing Akatsuki POVs, mainly because I'm afraid it'll take the humor away form the story with their scary, serious thinking.. (Though it may play a huge factor in comedy if I do it right..)**

**Well, it's up for you guys to decide. Should I put in Akatsuki POV? :3**

* * *

_Autumn \(* v *)/ Feeding the Akatsuki_

I felt euphoric. So we were in the clear with the Akatsuki, a good step towards my exotic love life! Imagine the inspiration I'd get if Kisame and I ever hook up! New ideas poured in my head for a new novel. Thanks to Rika, everything was running smoothly, but because of my juggling fail, embarrassment would slow my relationship with Kisame.

He obviously thinks I'm immature, which follows popular belief.

Nevertheless, I hummed as I set up makeshift beds with blankets and pillows for the criminals. If everything happened like it did in books, then everything would be perfect. I was quite an expert on romance, and the only thing missing was to get rid of my fear of the opposite sex.

Actually, it was quite strange when it came to the Akatsuki. I wasn't really afraid of them, not really. It must be because I loved them in the anime so much, and they were like close friends(that earlier attempted to kill me).

"Autumn, how many beds did you set up?" Rika poked her head into our room. The Akatsuki were lounging around in the living room, and Sam was explaining the concept of refrigerators to them. We were going to have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

"Five." I responded. "I'll share my bed with you, Sam can have yours and share with Konan, five can sleep in here, and four can sleep on the couches in the living room." I felt proud of my instant planning.

Rika nodded. "Are our couches big enough for four?"

I sighed. "Just to be safe, I'll make one more bed."

"Do we even have enough blankets and pillows for that?"

"We ran out of pillows, so I'm using stuffed animals. Remember last year for New Years, we bought all those blankets to make a fort?"

Rika grinned and nodded at the memory.

"Well," I continued. "Apparently we still have them."

"Perfect." Rika let out a sigh of relief. "When you're finished, you can come help me make dinner. We're going to have to go grocery shopping tomorrow."

_Ha! Knew it!_

"Okay." I turned back to folding blankets tactfully and placing stuffed pikachus under them for comfort. It seems I discovered a new talent, bed-crafting. Who would've guessed, right?

When I finished with the sixth bed, I headed towards the kitchen to help Rika make dinner for everyone. I was a little worried that we wouldn't have enough food for thirteen grown people to eat.

As I passed through the living room in order to get to the kitchen, I saw the Akatsuki curiously watching a movie. What, they didn't have flat screens in the Narutoverse? Sounds like a horrifying place to live..

Apparently, the S-ranked criminals were watching_ The Titanic. _It was just the beginning of the movie, and Sam was watching all of them to make sure they behaved. I don't think they noticed though, because they were too wrapped up in the movie. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves in their own way. I snickered when I thought of how they would react to the scene when Jack and Rose got a little.. _intimate_.

Shaking my head in amusement, I entered the kitchen to see Rika hard at work, bustling around to prepare what looked like spaghetti.

"Since when did we have that many spaghetti noodles?" I asked in amusement.

Rika shrugged her shoulders as she mixed the tomato sauce. "You tell me, I wasn't the one who ordered a large box of italian food last week!"

I turned red. "Well, I needed the food in order to describe it in my story!"

Rika gave me a weird look. "Okay, that's why you haven't eaten any of it, right?" She asked sarcastically.

"I may have forgotten about it.." I muttered, before joining her. I slid some noodles into a bowl of boiling water, watching how the stiffness gave way to soft, edible noodles. I kept putting in noodles and taking them out, while Rika heaped on the sauce. Half an hour later, we had thirteen steaming plates of spaghetti.

I got out the forks, having just enough for everyone.

"We're not all going to fit at the dining room table." Rika said with sudden realization.

"Don't worry, we'll just let them eat on the couches."

"But everything'll get stained!" Rika cried. "Did you see the gigantic blood stain in our room? It'll take forever to clean!"

I chuckled. "Don't worry Rika," I reassured her. "They'll be careful."

We walked into the living room, both holding large trays. Sam paused the movie, and the Akatsuki turned their attention to us.

"Dinner's served." Rika muttered. "Don't make a mess."

To make up for Rika's reluctance, I offered everyone a cheery grin, but nobody noticed my efforts. Everyone grabbed a plate and fork. I thought we were set, but Pein asked about something I completely looked over.

"What is this pronged object?" he asked, holding up his fork.

Rika and I froze before I quickly answered. "It's an eating utensil. You plant it in the spaghetti, twirl it, and then.. You eat."

"Is spaghetti the food we're supposed to eat?" Kisame asked next. _Everything he says sounds so hot.._

Rika informed him this time. "Yeah. It's italian."

"Italian?" Tobi spoke up.

"It's a country." Sam said, slurping up her noodles. "Now stop asking questions."

Rika and I glared at her rudeness, but nothing fazed Sam.

"Hey, Rika?" I whispered. I had just realized something. "Where's.. Where's Danny?"

Rika tugged me into the kitchen, away from the living room. She cleared her throat.

"She's, uh.." Rika looked like she was trying to search for gentle words. "Let's just say.. Zetsu got to her first.."

My jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

Rika sighed. "The consequences of harboring in the Akatsuki.."

"What if the police come around and ask questions?" I hissed.

Rika sighed again. "The benefits of harboring the Akatsuki.."

I shook my head. Nobody would ever miss Danny, but it was creepy knowing that we were living with a cannibal.

I walked over to the fridge, seeking comfort food. When I opened it, I saw that it was completely empty.

Yup, we definitely needed to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

* * *

**And, that's the chappie!**

**Sorry about my horrible Danny story, I really couldn't think of anything else to get rid of her body..**

**Next chappie will be Grocery Shopping with the Akatsuki! :D Well, at least two members.**

**Stay tuned! xD**

**-Princess Kaminari (of the Sand)**


	6. Chapter 6 (or 31)

**Well, I'm trying to make my chapters longer, as a request from Suki77. If you guys have any suggestions to make the story longer, by all means, feel free to tell me when you review! ^.^**

**And yeah, I'm doing Autumn's POV again. *dramatically puts on shades* Deal with it.**

* * *

_Autumn \(* v *)/ Grocery Shopping with the Akatsuki_

I woke up the next morning, nearly screaming when I saw most of the Akatsuki lying around the bedroom I shared with Rika. In a matter of four seconds, I calmed myself down enough to remember the events from yesterday. Danny's death that haunted me, nearly being killed, and best(or worst) of all, when I turned Kisame from a bunny into, well, _him_.

I looked at my alarm clock to see that it was only 5:00 am. Rika was still sleeping soundly next to me, but there were noises in the kitchen. Apparently, a few Akatsuki members were already up and about. Yawning, I got up, careful not to wake anybody.

When I got into the living room, I saw Tobi pretending to be a shellfish, Zetsu sitting on the couch, conversing between his split personalities, and Kisame.. Kisame was reading my in-progress novel! I turned red immediately, thinking of my most previously written scene.

"Uh.." I said when Kisame turned his attention to me. "I'll just go.. clean the kitchen.." I scrambled away, cursing myself for not finding a better excuse. Now I was stuck in my kitchen, because I couldn't go back and face embarrassment. Darn it, since when did I carelessly leave around my story work anyways?

I banged my head on the counter, causing immediate pain.

"Ouch!" I cried and clutched my head. I decided that it really would be a good idea to clean the kitchen. We were out of food, so I couldn't make breakfast. I had absolutely no idea that were were so low on food before the Akatsuki came. I would've gone shopping, but going out in public, where there were _males_ around? Unthinkable.

"Are you okay?" Tobi poked his masked head in the kitchen.

"Yeah.." I reassured him, though I was sure a huge bump would form right away.

"Okay!" Tobi ducked back into the living room, leaving me to roll my eyes at his idiocy.

I kneeled down to get the cleaning supplies from under the sink. Some _Windex: All Surface Cleaner_ and a rag. As I was about to get up, I, once again, hit my head. Unfortunately for me, I hurt myself in the exact same spot as before. Perfect.

I muttered a string of curses before getting to work. I sprayed the cleaning solution over the granite countertops and rubbed it all over. It was a simple task, one that gave me lots of time to think. Lots of time to ponder why exactly the Akatsuki were here, in my house.

But of course, I had no thinking time at my disposal, because Sam and Rika entered the kitchen, wide eyed.

"What's wrong?" I said when I saw the looks on their faces.

"We need to get food fast!" Rika explained hurriedly. "Apparently, Kakuzu gets really grouchy when he's hungry. Really, _really_ grouchy!"

"Aw, snap!" I closed my eyes in worry. "We can't have him murder us!"

"Exactly why we need to go grocery shopping, stupid." Sam snapped. "Rika and I can't go, because the Akatsuki need level-headed, mature people to stay at home."

"And I'm not mature?" I wondered, but I already knew the answer to that.

"No, dummy." Sam sighed, while Rika chewed on her nails in a worrisome fashion. "So you go get food. Pein said that two Akatsuki members have to accompany you."

"I h-have to go g-get food?" I stammered. "B-but there are.. _G-guys_ out there.."

"Well no friggin' way!" Sam cried incredulously. "Just go! We only have a pack of Fruit Snacks, instant ramen, and some theater popcorn to quell Kakuzu's hungry rage. We'll be good for about three hours."

"Please, Autumn?" Rika pleaded. I sighed, indecision attacking me from every direction.

"Fine.." I finally answered, worried that I made the wrong decision. "Who's coming along with me?"

"Pein said that he wants Kisame and Tobi to go with you."

I wrinkled my nose when I heard Tobi's name. "Doesn't Pein himself want to come along?"

Rika shrugged. "Doesn't matter, you should hurry up and get your butt out of here!"

Nodding, I went to my room to grab my purse. I took a moment to inwardly fangirl that I was going grocery shopping with Kisame Hoshigaki. Oh. My. Gosh! The real, living Kisame! Amazing!

Clearing my throat and shaking my head, I straightened myself and went to gather the Akatsuki members. Both Kisame and Tobi were in the living room, lounging around and being idle. Everyone seemed mad that Kakuzu's short temper earned him extra food, while everyone else had to wait for breakfast. I couldn't blame them, I was hungry myself.

"Tobi, Kisame, let's go," I said, beckoning for them to follow me. Both criminals seemed extremely excited to leave the overcrowded house.

Tobi skipped towards me, humming something weird sounding. Before we left out the door, I turned to them with a serious look on my face.

"I want you both to behave yourselves," I told them sternly. "Listen to me and be good, okay?"

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi chirped.

"Yeah, sure." Kisame replied.

"Then, we're off!" I opened the door and relished the gust of fresh air that blew into my face. I was going towards the car, but Kisame stopped and stared at the vehicle.

"What's that?" he asked curiously. I mentally face palmed myself. Of course they wouldn't know what a car was!

"It's a form of transportation." I explained quickly. "You sit in it, and you drive it to wherever you want to go."

"Cool!" Tobi poked it to see if it would react.

"It's inanimate, Tobi." I sighed. I wondered what else I would have to explain to them. Rika was much better suited for this job.

xx

After about fifteen minutes of confusion, annoyance, concerns, and wonder, we all somewhat safely reached the grocery store.

We got out of the car, meeting the huge sign that read _Mable's Food Market_ in red and yellow shiny letters. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. We were finally done with the car ride of doom. Don't ask, all I'm willing to say is that letting Tobi sit up front with me was the worst mistake ever. Apparently, he enjoyed blaring inhumane, appealing-to-teens auto-tune. Ugh.

"Here we are," I said, lamely waving my arms at the sight in front of us. Tobi bounced into the store right away, but Kisame was untrusting and hesitant. When I saw the wary look on his face, I decided to lighten the mood a bit. "Don't worry," I assured him. "There's not much celery and chicken can do to you, you know."

He simply nodded, and beckoned for me to go in front of him.

"Ladies first," was all he said, and I appreciated that.

As soon as I got in, I noticed Tobi juggling vegetables. There was a small crowd of four people around him, _oohing_ and _ahing_.

"Young man, what sort of mask is that?" An elderly woman asked. "You wouldn't happen to be that little whippersnapper that overturned my trash cans last week, now would you?"

I froze. I had forgotten that people would ask about the Akatsuki's rather peculiar appearances. I decided to ignore all the hushed whispers and get to work. Kisame made Tobi behave, thank goodness. He pulled the masked criminal away and tried to interest him in some eggplant, which worked perfectly.

Rolling my eyes, I carefully examined the tomatoes. I wasn't a huge fan of them, but i knew that Rika practically lived for those things. We also always had debates about whether tomatoes were fruits or vegetables. Economically, tomatoes were considered vegetables, but scientifically, they were considered fruits. So mind boggling..

"Are we looking for anything in particular?" I jumped when I heard Kisame's voice right next to me.

"Um, not really." I told him. "I'm just planning on buying a bunch of stuff and getting the heck outta here." I looked around quickly to see if any other guys were hanging around. A few teenage boys lounging around the cracker isle, but nobody else.

Kisame nodded and picked up a few stalks of celery, tossing them into a plastic bag and moving on.

Five minutes later, I was still debating over the tomatoes, and he came back fully loaded. Without interest, he dumped all of the food into the cart and proceeded to hover over me.

"What's so important about tomatoes..?"

"Nothing." I muttered, turning red at my slowness. Rika always managed to buy the perfect food effortlessly, so there was a lot of pressure on me.

Kisame tossed a few tomatoes into a bag and tied it, lumping it together with the rest of the fruits and vegetables he gathered.

"Now let's go get some poultry." He rolled the cart away, as if he was some expert at grocery shopping. I blinked twice, and proceeded to follow him. He moved quickly, but that was put to a stop when Tobi jumped at him from behind a stand of Pop-Tarts.

"Boo!" Tobi yelled when he popped out. Kisame ignored him, and continued walking, unfazed.

I sighed. "Come on, Tobi. We're on a mission."

"A mission?" Tobi perked up immediately. Note: Choose words more wisely in the future.

I decided that I had no choice but to play along. "Yes, Tobi. A mission. Can you be a good boy and follow instructions?"

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi nodded earnestly.

"Okay then." I pretended to look around suspiciously. "I need you to stay with me the entire time, and warn me whenever you see a male besides you or Kisame. Understood?"

"Yes, yes!" Tobi bounced up and down, before looking around. I straightened, and continued to trail behind Kisame. I just killed two birds with one stone. Keeping watch over Tobi _and_ the rest of the male population. Smart Autumn..

Tobi had slowed me down, but by the time I caught up to Kisame fully, he was done with ordering the meat. My jaw dropped.

"Kisame, how on earth..?"

"Clearly," he looked me straight in the eye with a dead serious look on his face. "You do not take the art of shopping seriously."

_Art of shopping..?_ I tried to hold in my laughter, but failed miserably. I started guffawing unattractively, holding my sides. Kisame Hoshigaki, S-ranked criminal, member of Akatsuki, a hardcore shopper? Way too much for a girl to take in.

"Autumn, look!" Tobi tugged my shoulder. I forced my laughter down.

"What is it, Tobi?"

"A male!" Tobi jumped up and down, pointing to a random stranger with greasy long hair. Whoever it was turned around, and I knew in a heartbeat that we were done for.

"Um.. Tobi?" I trailed off awkwardly. "That's not a.."

I didn't even have to answer. Tobi realized his mistake. I was about to grab on to Kisame for dear life, but found that he was already gone. And so was my purse. Darn it, he took my money!

"Tobi," I whispered lowly. "We run in three.. two.."

The girl started walking towards us, face twisted into a snarl.

"One!"

Tobi and I dashed away form our location, the strange girl hot on our heels. Apparently, he- I mean she, chose to pursue us. _It was extremely effective!_

Tobi and I dashed out the store, leaving Kisame to buy all of our food. We made a beeline for the car, and locked ourselves in. Too late, I realized, Tobi was seated right next to me, and looked very tempted by the Justin Beiber CD that lay on the dashboard. How did that get there anyway?

"Tobi, don't you dare touch it." I threatened.

Tobi loked pained. He looked longingly at the teenage singer's face, itching to play it, but somehow remained still. After a few minutes, Kisame also finally returned, arms full of bags. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. There was a lot of food. A_ lot_.

I quickly unlocked the doors, and he quickly unloaded all the of bags in the backseat. He sat next to them looking quite squished uncomfortable.

"Kisame, we have a trunk to store everything.."

"No." Kisame raised his arms over the bags of food protectively, a violent glint flashing in his eyes menacingly. "You don't touch my babies."

_Don't laugh.. Don't laugh.._

I nodded and started driving home, but my wavering mouth gave way to laughter once more. Apparently, the Akatsuki weren't all that serious. I started having deep philosophies about the comical group of criminals, but my thoughts were cut off when I heard.._ It._

"Baby, baby, baby, Oooh!" Tobi sang along to the darned CD. I choked back my tears of agony and wished that my ears would just fall off already. Tobi was not, and will never be, a good singer.

_Ever._

* * *

**A chapter over 2000 words, just like Sand vs Bubbles! I'm magically amazing!**

**Sorry if this chapter was lame, but I wanted to include some comedy. Clearly, I'm not that funny, but I try, so whatever! x)**

**I don't know what the next chapter will be yet.. Yeah, I totally have this story all figured out. (sarcasm)**

**But at least I know the ending! :D **

**By the way, if you like Justin Beiber, I hope you won't be offended by this chapter. I meant it as a joke to be taken likely. I have better things to do than hate on real live people. I need to rant in all my online iHatematsuri and iHatesakura clubs. ^.^**

**If you guys have time, please check out my Gaara x OC fic, Sand vs Bubbles!**

**Ugh, look at me, shamelessly advertising myself.. Disgusting! (sarcasm)**

**Review, favorite, and follow if you enjoyed! :3 Thanks for your support so far! ^.^**

**-Princess Kaminari**


	7. Chapter 7 (or 32)

**Hey guys, I haven't uploaded in forever! I'm terribly sorry, but I went on THREE vacations since I last uploaded! If you read my other fic, Sand vs Bubbles, you would know that, but I didn't have time to post author's notes in Akatsuki Bunnies.. (Gomenasai) ; n ;**

**Anyways, in order to make up for that, I shall post a 5000+ word chappie! ALL HAIL PRINCESS KAMINARI!**

**ps, this is unedited. Why, you may ask? Read the end of chappie author's note. I'm too depressed to edit. Maybe another day.. *sniffle***

* * *

Sam |(T n T)| -Hot Springs?

Kakuzu was just about to rip apart Hidan when Autumn stormed through the door, with Kisame and Tobi close behind her. I couldn't tell who looked stranger, Tobi with a fake microphone, Kisame babying the grocery bags, or Autumn, who was unusually angry. Curious to know what happened, I followed Autumn into the kitchen, where she was lighting candles.

"Autumn, what are you doing..?" I inquired, and nearly jumped out of my skin at the maniacal look in her eyes when she turned to me.

Wordlessly, she held up a Justin Beiber CD, her left eye twitching. Then, in one of Rika's gigantic aromatic candles, she threw in the CD, laughing evilly as it burned.

"Die, J.B, die!" she cackled, then started doing some weird dance around the candles.

Tobi came in seconds later, in a panicked state. "Nooo! My precious idol, whyyy!?" He wailed hysterically, dropping to his knees and letting loose a waterfall of chibi tears all over the tiled kitchen floor.

"Rika!" I nervously called. "Come in here!"

"I can't, Kisame won't let me take the shopping bags away from him!" I heard her voice respond frantically.

"Augh!" I growled in frustration. "What the heck is up with you guys?"

And just then, like a wonderful angel of immense goodness, Sasori walked in with a bored, placid look on his face.

"Pein sent me here to help you, brat. What do you want?" he said.

I let the brat comment slide and pushed away my natural instinct to fangirl as faraway as possible before addressing Sasori.

"Autumn and Tobi have gone insane." I explained. "Help me or die." I figured acting tough would be perfect to make sure that Sasori knows I _totally_ wasn't swayed by his hotness. _Totally._

Okay, I've got to stop lying to myself. Who doesn't love Sasori?

"Brat, you can't even lay a finger on me." Sasori snorted, as if to rile me up. Douche. I wasn't going to get affected by his arrogance.

"Shut up, stupid. We've got to help Tobi and Autumn before they kill someone." I shot him a glare, but he was indifferent to my rising temper.

"I sure hope they kill you before I do. You're very annoying, brat."

A chibi angry vein popped up on my forehead. "What was that, punk? You callin' me annoying?" I held up a fist.

"Of course I did. You're a dimwitted, annoying, self-centered, stuck up, rude, prissy, snotty brat." Sasori gave me a challenging look, and despite being extremely attractive, I felt like tearing him apart with Autumn's bedazzled scissors(don't ask).

"Oh, yeah?" I narrowed my eyes. "You're an arrogant, good-for-nothing, lame, pea-brained, emotionless idiot who can't do anything right!" I felt triumphant at my string of made-up-on-the-spot insults.

"Brat."

"Idiot."

"Loser."

"Lame-ass."

"Ugly."

"Douche."

"Stupid."

"Dummy."

"Weird-eyed freak."

"Weird-eyed freak?" I growled lowly. "I'll show you who'll be a weird eyed freak after we settle this!" I launched myself at Sasori, aiming numerous punches at him once I got on top of his stupid body. We barreled towards the floor, and somehow, I ended up on the bottom, because, you know, I lack everything but artistic abilities.

"Wow, you really suck at fighting," Sasori noted with a bored expression on his face as I tried to strangle him. "You shouldn't be so impulsive, brat."

"You shouldn't call me a weird-eyed freak!" I shot back, but that only made Sasori grin.

"Why not? It's only telling the truth. I wouldn't want to lie to you, stupid."

I tried to look as threatening as possible, but it didn't work out too well considering I had Sasori casually laying on top of me, as if he was waiting for the day I'd finally land a hit on him. And.. Because of my scarlet blush that wouldn't go away no matter what. Which totally proves that the Akatsuki are dangerous in more ways than one.

Sasori sighed. "Are you going to hit me yet, brat? You're so weak."

"I'm not weak!" I tried narrowing my eyes, but they shot open when Sasori put his elbows on either side of my head, and placed his head in his palms, looking directly into my eyes. He didn't seem fazed by the close contact at all, which irked me, because close proximity should bother _everyone_! It wasn't fair that this idiot was immune to it!

"I'll wait until you manage to hit me." Sasori sighed. "You're so boring."

"Idiot! Just wait, I'll kill you!" I threatened, though to be quite honest, I mainly said that in a failed attempt to cover up me being so flustered. I mean, seriously! It made me feel so darn self-concious with Sasori just staring at me like that!

"It seems everyone has gone insane but me." Konan sighed as she entered the kitchen. "Sasori, what exactly are you doing?"

"Waiting for the brat to kill me, apparently." Sasori replied without looking away from me.

"Just wait, you idiot! I'll tear you apart, piece by piece!" I said.

Autumn seemed to snap out of her murderous rage at that moment. The first thing she did was gape at me and Sasori, with her mouth open. It made her look really stupid.

Finally, she said, "Oh.. My.. Gosh. Sam, what happened to purity before marriage?!"

"Purity before.. WHAT?!" I felt my face turn red. "What the heck do you mean?" I instantly regretted asking that, though, because it sent the crazy romance writer into an explanatory frenzy.

"Oh, silly Sam!" Autumn giggled. "Purity before marriage is a beautiful thing! When one gets married, and has a most splendid first experience on the night of her big day! The romance, and steaminess of the entire situation is so perfect, the trust the man and woman form between each other as soon as they bond in a form of pleasure, oh, it's _soooo_ romantic! I imagine that one day, with you and Sasori, when he-"

"Autumn!" I snapped, hoping to drag her out of her insane rambling. It didn't work, but Sasori didn't even seem to care. It was as if he enjoyed seeing me so embarrassed.

"-gently lays you down on your silken bed sheets, in a wonderful new home, and looks at you with an expression of love and devotion.. And then proceeds to unzip the back of your beautiful wedding gown, whilst still staring into the depths of your soul.. Ah, the heat around you would intensify with longing, and both of you would feel a deep need for each other, one that you would satisfy with a long night of pleasure and-"

"Autumn!" I tried again, but nothing would get her off her hype. I was turning redder and redder, which earned me extremely amused looks from both Sasori_ and_ Konan. Tobi was apparently taking a nap on the floor.

"-love! After Sasori gently slips your dress off, and takes in your amazing beauty, in which he cannot compare with any other, he'd gently ease his lips onto yours, and start caressing your body gently, while your cheeks turn a delicate shade of pink. Sasori would notice how flustered and excited you are, and would start kissing you with more intensity, sliding his tongue across -"

"Holy crap, Autumn! Just stop already!" I yelled. I would've gotten up from the ground to prove my point, or raised my head to look at her, but stupid Sasori was still on top of me, laughing at Autumn and I. "Shut up, Sasori, this isn't funny!"

"If you could see your face, you'd be laughing too, brat." Sasori snickered.

"-your own, causing soft moans to escape from you. Sasori would notice this and softly bite your lip, which would let off a gentle pleasure you had never experienced before. Eager for more, you'd blindly unbutton Sasori's dress shirt and slide your hands across his smooth-"

"Autumn!" This time, Konan was the one to interrupt. "You're going to scar me for life! Just stop before I won't be able to look at Sasori and Sam the same way ever again!"

"Sam and Sasori has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?" Autumn giggled.

"No, it doesn't." I huffed angrily. I felt totally humiliated, and it didn't help that Sasori seemed completely unaffected by Autumn's dumb antics. Grr.. The idiot!

"Hey guys, I finally got the shopping- What the heck?!" Rika entered the kitchen and the scene in front of her created an extremely shocked look on her face. "Sam, what happened to purity before marriage?!"

"Augh!" I decided to just give in the the torture of the universe, and closed my eyes as I lay my head helplessly on the floor.

"Uh.." Rika turned red. "What am I witnessing?"

"The wonderful bloom of young love, Rika! Ah, such a wonderful, blazing inferno of desire and passion, that can only be seen in youths-"

"You guys turned Autumn into her alter ego, you idiots!" Rika cried. "Now she's behaving like a Rock Lee lovebird!"

"Oh.. That's what happened to her.." Konan said slowly. "How interesting."

"No!" Rika cried. "Not interesting! It's horrifying! Somebody dump cold water on her!"

Just like a living miracle, Kisame walked in and gleefully doused Autumn with ice cold water.

"I've been waiting to do that," Kisame sighed contentedly.

"Augh!" Autumn coughed and sputtered like a dying engine. "What the heck, Kisame?!"

I sighed from my position on the floor, drawing Kisame's attention over to me and Sasori. _Crap_.

"Sasori.. What are you doing with her?!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Absolutely nothing." Sasori replied simply, like it was the most normal thing in the world to be casually laying on top of me in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Pein walked in, surveying the area. When his gaze landed on Sasori and I, he promptly walked out of the kitchen. Okay, I definitely had to get the puppet loser off of me. I tried squirming away, but that didn't work at all, seeing as Sasori merely put more pressure on my body. Next, I tried what anyone would naturally do. Verbal attack.

"Get off me, puppet boy." I muttered, glaring at him all the while.

"What if I say no?" Sasori challenged.

"Why, you little punk!" I started getting mad all over again. "If you don't get off me, I'll tear you to shreds!"

"Not very convincing." The redhead stared at me with a bored expression on his face. "Try something more realistic, brat."

"Fine. I'll just get you off myself." I huffed. I tried to wriggle out underneath him again, this time without giving in so easily. It was really awkward, well, for me it was. Sasori looked like he enjoyed every second of my struggles, darn him.

I actually managed to move away quite a bit, but I think it was mainly because Sasori decided to be merciful and eased himself off me. Perhaps the looks from everyone were getting to him, too.

A sudden explosion was heard from the living room, sending Rika flying out of the kitchen.

Seconds later, I heard Rika cry, "Deidara, why would you explode our TV?!"

"Cause I felt like it, un!"

"Okay, that's it! Everyone in the living room! We're having a meeting!" Rika announced.

"Move, Sasori. I've got a meeting to get to." I demanded. Sasori complied this time, and even helped me up. "Um, thanks." I said once I got up on my feet.

"Brat."

Another angry vein popped up on my forehead, but Sasori ignored it and continued walking towards the living room. I silently fumed as I plopped myself down on a couch, next to Deidara. _Must.. Not.. Fangirl.._

"Okay," Rika started. She was the only one standing, putting her at the center of attention. "I've decided that since you all can't behave yourselves over here, we should take a calming trip to a hot spring resort in order to relax you guys. How's that sound?"

"Yay! Hot springs are fun!" Tobi sprang into the living room, awoken from his nap.

"Good morning, Tobi." Kisame greeted sarcastically.

"Hot springs are a good idea." Pein said.

"Well then, your leader-sama agrees!" Autumn cheered. "Let's go!"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea.." I started to say, but Deidara bonked me on the head before I could continue. Just.. OW.

"What was that for?" I snapped.

"Sasori told me to do it." Deidara told me, pointing to the puppeteer on the other side of him.

"Great!" Rika exclaimed before I could yell at Sasori. "Everyone, get packing! We're leaving tomorrow!"

* * *

At the Hot Springs~

"Worst car ride ever." I muttered, violently grabbing my duffel bag from the trunk. We had to take two cars, Rika driving one and Autumn the other. I was forced into Autumn's car, since she was more inexperienced and impulsive(like I could help with that). So was squished in the back, because Kisame had called the front first. The maximum capacity for the car was five people, but six were crammed inside mercilessly.

Tobi and Deidara had the window seats, while stupid Sasori and I had to suffer in the middle. The only good part about the trip was physical contact with Deidara the entire ride, and it wasn't even worth it, since he kept threatening to shove an explosive spider down my throat every time I was slammed into him.

Of course, I couldn't even enjoy being so close to Deidara, because Sasori had to start an insult war with me. The entire car ride consisted of Tobi singing Justin Beiber(...), Deidara snapping at me, and Sasori and I nearly strangling each other.

Darn you, Kisame, darn you. If I was allowed to be in the front, things would've been so much easier.

"It was lots of fun!" Tobi chirped next to me. I glared at him, holding myself back from strangling him. Four hours of off key Justin Beiber. FOUR HOURS. That bumbling idiot had vocal chords of steel.

"I hate you, Kisame." I scowled when he got out of the car.

"That's what Deidara and Sasori told me, too." he groaned. "But it was worth it."

"Hmp." I stalked over to where Rika's car was parked, wanting to hurry up and get my room key.

"Hey, Rika." I got her attention. "Can we get inside already?"

"Um, yeah.." Rika looked at her car nervously.

"What happened?" I sighed.

"Kakuzu and Hidan had a fight."

I sweatdropped. "Let's go inside, then. Get all the stress off your mind."

Rika eagerly nodded, and started herding the S-ranked criminals into the building. Once we finally got inside, Rika informed the receptionist about our reservation, and got the room assignments.

"Wait, we don't get our own individual rooms?" I asked.

"Can't afford it." Rika sighed. "We get four rooms, and there's thirteen of us. Let's move into the lobby so we can announce who's with who."

We rushed into the lobby, eager to soak in hot water after an extremely stressful car ride.

"In room 109, we have Konan, Autumn, Sam, and I." Rika started out. Oh, thank goodness, I don't know what I would've done if I had to share a room with a guy.

"In room 110, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori." Two groans were heard, along with a happy squeal. "Room 111, Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu. Room 112, Kisame, Pein, and Itachi. any questions?"

Nobody answered. "Good. Now come here and get your room cards."

* * *

"That took a while." I sighed. "But it's totally worth it now.." Rika, Konan, Autumn, and I were happily soaking in the girl's bath area. It was really peaceful, at least it _was_, until the Akatsuki entered the hot springs too. The gender baths were separated by a brick wall, so we heard all of the Akatsuki's yelling and fighting on the other side, which disturbed the the tranquil silence.

"Hidan, you can't make sacrifices to Jashin here!" Pein yelled.

"Deidara, wait! Don't explode that!"

_Boom!_

"Kisame, what are you doing?!"

"You #%*& #$%& get over here so I can rip you apart!"

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"No, Toooobiii!

All of the sudden, an unsuspecting Zetsu was flung over the brick wall. He landed with a big _splash!_ right next to Konan, who looked extremely ticked off.

"Zetsu, what are you doing here?!" Autumn screeched. So much for peaceful..

"Oh no, we lost Zetsu!" Tobi clambered over the wall and lunged for Zetsu.

Let's just say, reader, my eyes are bleeding. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Remember, we're all naked here.. Oh God, why..?

"Tobi, have some decency!" Rika snapped.

Konan didn't say anything, but she looked very dazed.

"Tobi, you idiot!" Pein growled loudly from the other side. "Bring Zetsu back here and leave the girls alone!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and willed the world to end. How did Konan handle this?

"He's gone now, Sam." Konan spoke a minute later.

I opened my eyes slowly, and was relieved to _not_ see a butt naked Tobi splashing around.

"I'm scarred for life." I choked out. "W-why me?"

Konan patted my back reassuringly. "Don't worry, you'll never have to see that again.." She soothed.

"Welcome back, Tobi the idiot." I heard Sasori say.

"Did you see anything?" I was killing Hidan for asking that.

"Yes, I did!" Tobi chirped happily. Wait, what?! "Sam, Rika, Autumn, and Konan-chan were there!"

Oh. Geez, he was naïve.

"No, I mean, did you see anyone's-" Hidan wasn't able to speak after that, because I had wrapped a towel around myself and went into montage mode, jumping over the brick wall and landing a large punch on Hidan's face.

"Ow, you little-"

"Hi Sam." I heard Sasori greet me from behind. I whirled around in shock, wanting to cover myself up before realizing I was in the water anyways.

"Hi, stupid." I muttered. "I really didn't think this out."

"No, you didn't. By the way, your towel fell off, brat."

It felt like my already scarred eyes would pop out of their sockets. "It d-did?" I giggled nervously. All around me, the Akatsuki stared at me like I was the most stupid idiot to walk the planet. At that moment, I really was.

"Don't worry, it fell off when you got into the water, un." Deidara reassured me.

I sighed heavily, knowing I was going to have to burn my face to retrieve it. I dove underwater, swimming and blindly reaching my hands out to get my towel. After a minute of agony, I finally grasped the soaked cloth and quickly hurried to the surface.

Once I broke out, I breathed heavily, dizzy from the heat. Way too dizzy. I didn't feel good..

"Sam, are you okay, un?" Deidara waved a hand in front of my face. Deidara's hand started getting wobbly and out of focus.

Oh, no! Was I going to faint?! I tried wrapping my towel around me, but my movements were sluggish and unproductive.

"Every thing's.. fuzzy.." I murmured sleepily.

"Oh, no! Sam-chan doesn't feel good!" Tobi started waving his hands in front of my face, but his swift actions made me even dizzier.

"Stop moving.. Yer' hands.." I mumbled, starting to sink in the water.

A pair of hands caught me, keeping my concealed under the water. The last thing I saw was my my white towel, sinking slowly to the bottom of the.. The..

* * *

I felt a cool ice pack being pressed against my forehead, jolting me out of my slumber. I opened my eyes, curious to what I was going to see when I woke up. And to be quite honest, I was surprised when I saw Sasori taking care of me, with an annoyed expression on his face. A _very_ annoyed expression.

"You scare me when you look that angry.." I said quietly, unable to speak at a normal volume.

"You're so weak, brat." Sasori ignored my previous comment and proceeded to glare at me with all the hate he could muster.

"Screw you.." I yawned, raising my fist and attempting to punch Sasori, but I barley even made contact with his arm.

Giving up, I looked around. I was in a bed, in a room that didn't look like the one that the girls and I shared. I was also covered by a blanket. I also realized something vitally important- I was naked. Just perfect.

"Sasori, if you did anything.." I glared at him.

"Brat, who'd want to do anything to you?"

"Good answer." I snapped. "I'll be leaving now."

"Naked?"

"I'm taking this blanket with me."

"No way, brat. That's mine."

"Well, now it's got Sam germs all over it. I'll give you mine later, okay?"

"Fine." Sasori looked away, allowing me to wrap the blanket around me like a towel.

Without bothering to say anything else but a swift "Bye," I left his room. Stupid idiots.. I friggin' hate Hidan, that stupid Jashin-obsessed moron loser.

I stormed up to my room, but realized I didn't have my room card with me. Snappy Snoo. I knocked, praying that someone would be there. Luckily for me, Konan answered, and looked at me with concern reflected in her serene orange eyes.

"Thanks for answering, Konan." I stepped inside, and threw myself on my bed, tired and extremely embarrassed.

"Are you alright, Sam?" Konan sat next to me, searching my face to see if I looked feverish.

"Yeah, but I feel dizzy. It was a stupid idea to go underwater."

"Oh, so that's what happened. Rika and Autumn are still in the water, but I came to see if you'd come back."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I'm not a huge fan of hot springs anyways." Konan smiled. "Pein told me Sasori carried you back out, by the way. He said Sasori was very careful not to touch you anywhere inappropriate."

"Thank goodness," I breathed out. "If that idiot tried anything.."

"I take it you don't really like Sasori."

"That obvious?"

"Kind of. Get some rest, okay? We're staying until tomorrow night, then we're going to drive for a few hours, stop at a hotel, and finish the rest of the trip back home in the morning."

"Seems like a messy schedule." I snuggled into the blanket Sasori gave to me, making sure not to get too close to my original one. "Hey, Konan? Will you remind me to give my blanket to Sasori later?"

Konan nodded, before walking away. I quickly fell asleep, glad to be able to rest.

* * *

"Sam, wake up!" Autumn shook me awake.

I groaned heavily, making sure to emphasize my grouchiness at being woken up.

"Stop being such a grouch!" Autumn narrowed her eyes. "Konan told me you have to return a blanket or whatever to Sasori."

"Oh." I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "I'll get dressed right away. What time is it?"

"Seven."

I threw on an oversized shirt and some baggy shorts, and gathered up my untouched blanket. I hurried out the door and took the two steps it took to get to Sasori's door. I knocked, impatiently waiting for a reply.

"Whatdya' want, un?" Deidara moodily opened the door. His expression slightly changed once he saw who I was.

I held out the blanket. "For Sasori." I muttered.

"Hi, Sam! look, Tobi is a good boy!" The masked criminal bounced behind Deidara happily, making absolute sure my attention was on him.

"Hi, Tobi." I greeted wearily. "Deidara, just give the darn blanket to Sasori. I'm tired."

"So am I." Deidara took the blanket from me. "Do you feel any better, un?"

I felt touched that Deidara was asking, even if he didn't really care. "Yeah," I answered, before heading back to my room.

"I'm back!" I announced, before falling asleep on my bed. I knew the hot springs would be a bad idea..

* * *

"Good morning, Sam!" Autumn jumped on my bed. "Wake up, it's another hot spring-filled day with the Akatsuki!"

I felt a fangirl-y feeling sweep through me at the sound of Akatsuki, and shot up out of bed, quickly getting into some casual clothing.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked.

"Looks like you feel better." Konan said, putting on one of Rika's shirts that she effortlessly looked amazing in.

"Yup!" I grinned.

"I'm not sure what they serve here." Rika informed as she stepped out of our bathroom. "We're meeting up with the boys in a few minutes."

"Awesome." I quickly brushed my hair and popped a piece of mint gum in my mouth. I never told anyone, but I was secretly addicted to minty gum. Sh, it's a secret.

A knock at our door alerted all of us, and Rika rushed to the door.

"Yeah?"

"We're done, are you?" Pein's voice drifted into our room.

"Yeah, we're finished." Rika beckoned for us to come over. "Let's go."

I walked into the hallway, letting out a tiny yawn. I wasn't really much of a morning person.

"Yay, breakfast time!" Tobi clapped his hands eagerly.

"Ugh, you never shut up, do you, Tobi?" I groaned, stifling another yawn.

"Someone's grouchy, un." Deidara remarked.

"Shut up, Barbie." I yawned. Ugh, I couldn't stop!

"Sam, don't be so rude!" Rika scolded me as we started walking.

"She's just tired." Konan said from in front of me.

I walked on ahead, my morning hype fading away. My excitement was quickly replaced by my need to sleep, so my steps started to get wobbly.

"Wake up, brat." I felt Sasori's hot breath on my neck.

My eyes shot open and I jumped, a blush quickly forming on my cheeks.

"I'm awake!" I squealed. "Never do that again, puppet boy."

"It woke you up, though." Sasori pointed out, with a smirk on his face.

"Friggin' stupid idiot loser." I muttered under my breath hatefully.

We got to the breakfast area relatively quickly for a large group. Tobi, of course, dashed ahead of everyone and heaped food on a large plate. How was the idiot going to eat all that with his mask on anyways?

* * *

"We're so sorry, it'll never happen again!" Rika cried. "Please forgive us!"

I glared at the ceiling as I waited for Rika to finish her apologies. Apparently, the Akatsuki got into another fight with one another, and it all revolved around Tobi the idiot. He accidentally poked Deidara in the eye(don't ask me how), which caused Deidara to lunge at his throat, which made Autumn annoyed, so she pulled Deidara's hair, and Deidara got mad, so he tried to throw eggs at her, but missed and hit Kisame, blah blah blah.

Thankfully, I didn't have a role to play in the incident, so I wouldn't get scolded by Rika later.

"One more incident like this, and we're going to have to kick you out!" The manager said angrily. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." Rika nodded frantically.

"Good." The manager turned and walked away purposefully.

As soon as he was gone, Rika turned into what resembled a very angry demon.

"Kisame, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Autumn, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu, I need to have a word with you."

Itachi, Konan, Pein, and I let out sighs of relief, and quickly scurried to our rooms so we could enjoy another day of the hot springs. Nobody wanted to face Rika in rage mode.

* * *

Konan and I were happily soaking in hot water, when Autumn and Rika walked in.

"Welcome." I grinned at Autumn, who looked fairly traumatized.

"Hi." She sighed.

_Boom!_

"Darn it, Deidara! Why'd you have to explode that rock?!"

"Because I wanted to, un!"

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"No, Tobi! Don't-"

_Splash!_

"My eyes!"

"No, poor Kisame!"

"Do we even want to know what's going on?" Konan asked.

"I don't think so.." Rika grimaced.

* * *

"Night driving is such a stupid idea." I complained as I was shoved into the cramped car. I was extremely tired, like last night, only multiplied by a billion. Thank goodness I didn't have to drive. Poor Autumn..

"Rika said we won't be stopping by the hotel anymore, so we're gonna have to pull an all-nighter." Autumn moaned as she got into the car. This time, Tobi was up at the front, that lucky bastard. I was once again sandwiched in between Deidara and Sasori, but the blonde criminal wasn't as hostile due to exhaustion. Thankful for the opportunity, I rested my head against his shoulder, snuggling close and allowing myself to doze off.

* * *

**Hello, guys! So, that chappie took me a while.. Sorry if the ending to it was bad, but I have a totally valid excuse. I was listening to God Bless You(an Angel Beats! song), and was just imagining an Akatsuki funeral and I started.. DAMMIT, I'm crying! Okay? I'm crying and I'm not ashamed to admit it! *sob***

**Why did they have to go..? WAAAAAAAHHHH!**

**Anyways, have fun in life, review, follow, favorite.. *sniffle***

**Great, now I'm depressed. You'd better not be laughing at me.**

**I MISS THE AKATSUKI!**

**That's it. I'm rewatching Naruto. Yup. I'm doing it for the Akatsuki. **

**See you next year, reader. (not really, I'm still updating).**

**OH GOD WHYYYYY**

**Come back to me, my sweet criminals! Kaminari love you! *cry***

**-Princess Kaminari of the Sand**


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